Weirdness tag

I've written a book. It's called, How to Raise Your IQ by Eating Gifted Children.
Lewis B. Frumkes

I have finally been tagged. I don't think I've ever been tagged before so I'm kind of honoured. But I have trouble with naming five weird things about me.

I could tell you about incidents when my body revolted against my intentions ~ like after I gave birth and the breast tissue under my arm swelled up to the size of a large third breast. And leaked milk.

Or I could tell you that I can do this with my tongue.

And so can both my kids.

But mainly I get stuck on the whole "what is weird question?".

I like to watch a little American Idol with the kids. The other night I was up late with my son and husband and we watched the Seattle auditions. It broke my heart the way they made fun of some of the "weird" people. They must encourage people who they know are going to have ridiculous auditions. They give them longer and interview them more than the "talent".
One boy in particular seemed to me to be a classic example of someone with Aspergers syndrome.  Aspergers syndrome not only makes it more difficult for the individual to understand other people's unspoken communication but also the behaviour of the individual will seem odd to neurologically typical people.

Watching the show make fun of him seemed to me the worst kind of bullying. My husband complained to the television standards commission.

My daughter has aspergers syndrome and she has just started secondary school this year. She is regarded as weird or a freak by many of her peers. This is really painful for her and for us.

When I learned she had aspergers syndrome, about 8 years ago, I began to think very differently about people. I realized how differently someone else's mind can be from mine. For instance, where I used to assume that a particular behaviour that appeared rude was intended to be offensive, I no longer feel so sure.

I know this tag is innocent fun. But weird is a painful word in our house. Mostly, I wish to understand the things that seem weird in others. And for others to understand the things that seem weird in me and my family. Vive la difference.

Sorry about the seriousness of this post. It's not my usual style, I know. I will resume to my regular posting style tomorrow.

I'm changing the tag to "name 5 things that are unique about you". And I tag Lynn at Molly Chicken because I know she'll understand.

Oh, and Herman the Giant German rabbit now has his own blog. He speaks English and HTML. Amazing!

Comments

[Kitty Jimjams]

I agree - and who could not? I do secretarial work at a law firm in the Community Care and Education dept, and we see a lot of parents of children with Asperger and autistic spectrum disorders. They often seem to fall between two stools with local authorities: neither CC nor Education want to take responsibility for providing the help their families often desperately need.

My very best, best wishes to your family and especially your daughter. I hope the school is trying to help.

And have you seen this book? http://www.amazon.co.uk/All-Cats-Have-Aspergers-Syndrome/dp/1843104814/sr=8-1/qid=1169667978/ref=pd_ka_1/202-5339642-0745439?ie=UTF8&s=books
I have a photocopy of the cover on my pinboard at work. :)

[Plumtickled]

I agree with you on the American Idol thoughts. It would be nice for others to be sensitive to the feelings of those who need it. Give your baby a hug and continue to enjoy her!

[whitney-anne]

Tell you what, that giant rabbit is weird and more than a little scary.
Also remember that what the rest of the world calls weird, the english just consider eccentric. Being eccentric is a much prized virtue in the english and something to be proud of..hurrah for those who are different.

[Anna Maria]

Seems the intent of the blogland "weird" tag is to know more about each other and laugh at ourselves. I for one, love every "weird" thing about myself, because, as you say, it makes me unique.
I think you should have named your post "Bravery tag". That's what you are my dear, and a loving mother on top of it.
Love to you and your darling family, xoAM

[Old Round]

I can see how the word would put you on edge, especially with your daughter entering middle school (is that what secondary is?). I have the pleasure of knowing a boy with Asperger's. His mother and i were in the same birth class so I've known him from the get-go. Knowing is different from knowing by labels. I definitely have learned to second-guess my assumptions about the hows and whys people act the way they do. And I always try to tell myself that people aren't trying to be malicious, rude, whatever... that I'm just overly sensitive. Then things like the American Idol episode you described go and make you wonder about that theory. Thanks for sharing!
I haven't been tagged but have spent the last two days trying to think of weird things about myself but haven't been able to come up with a thing. I could probably fill a bucket with all my neurosis etc, but I don't consider them weird. Oh yeah, you have my deepest sympathies about the breast thing.

[susan]

juju, hugs to your daughter. i have had 12 students (over the past 15 years of teaching in my little school) with aspergers and each one has taught me the greatest lessons in teaching.
one young man (now 21 - i met him 15 years ago!!) is having his first exhibition next month in a local gallery. he finished art school last year and has made me very proud.
weird is the least descriptive word in the english language-and the one which can be most hurtful.
that said - that tongue thing is WILD! :-) and the rabbit is darling. scary? nope. big yes!

[greta]

thank you for this post...now I know that you and I have even MORE in common...I have an AS/autistic spectrum daughter and an autistic son. Bless your husband for complaining...yay!
That, I think is the whole point of the blogworld's weird tag game...we're ALL closer than we think!

[Mae]

A lot of folks try to keep their blogs light but real life does have a way of creeping in some times! We are all carrying "stuff" around and sometimes you just have to unload! Your daughter is blessed to be surrounded by a loving, understanding and supportive family ...

[Dawn]

Every day there's alittle weirdness in MY life, it can show itself in many ways. But like your other readers this is what makes ME. I am proud of it and if anything feel people find it more acceptable as I grow older.
Those who point and judge haven't experienced the richness of this varied world and without it we might as well all be robots
My ex-partner always thought it weird that I kept a large bag of buttons and could get so excited to find exactly what I needed in it. He realised in time that it wasn't strange but a carefully collected treasure of great value.
Awareness is the key.

[Georgia]

But don't you think Idol and its ilk promote mediocraty? I suspect TV-land is afraid of individuality and maybe even intelligence. It is cheaper and easier to trot out the same, unchallenging dross and the advertisers are more comfortable that way. The sad thing is the general public watch the stuff.

I try to subtly encourage my children to be true to themselves and quietly (and politely) subversive. I hope they will grow to understand conformity but not to wear it. It clashes with their personalities.

[Georgia]

But don't you think Idol and its ilk promote mediocrity? I suspect TV-land is afraid of individuality and maybe even intelligence. It is cheaper and easier to trot out the same, unchallenging dross and the advertisers are more comfortable that way. The sad thing is the general public watch the stuff.

I try to subtly encourage my children to be true to themselves and quietly (and politely) subversive. I hope they will grow to understand conformity but not to wear it. It clashes with their personalities.

[Dawn]

Thank you! There are many things in our family that would be considered weird to others and being left out because of it has been painful.

You are the first person I know (besides me) that can fold their tongue in threes. lol. :) My son can too.

[Miss Dot]

Thank you for being so honest about your daughter and her condition. I went and had a read up on it so now I am informed. That is what we all need to be more informed and more compassionate. Best of luck to your daughter! that tongue thing rocks!

[eb]

well - the WEIRD thing must be going around like the flu - I was tagged as well and went to the dictionary to clarify and refine the meaning of this easily mis-understood word - it has its roots in the idea of destiny - kismet, etc. - I really appreciated your "serious" take on this "fun" tag game - come visit - eb.

[LisaJay]

As someone whose own brain is "weird," my heart goes out to you and your family. Weird behavior caused by my brain, such as math calculation errors, have been called "careless" since gradeschool.

The more I know about the effect of brain function on behavior, the less apt I am to judge something as character-based and more as brain-based.

As a psychologist, I once had the privilege of being the first to diagnose an 11-year-old boy with Aspergers. What followed was, in a way, remarkable. As his parents and teachers understood the reason for his behavior, they stopped being critical/punitive and started being helpful. As his siblings and classmates observed the adults treating him better, their own behavior toward him became less rejecting. But it doesn't always happen that way.

Weird. Maybe that's a word I'll save for snow in July. With people, I agree, "unique" is not only kinder, but more accurate.

[jenny b harris]

They really crossed the line this time. Not only teasing, but purposefully embarrassing that earnest young man as well as several others with challenges. That episode of AI put me off watching, as I was furious at their ignorant, heartless bullying. The whole thing made me ill. I hope they are inundated with complaints. The world is harsh enough without the number one show in America promoting the attitude that it is okay to treat people that way.

[Jill]

AMEN!!!! What are we teaching our children if that show is what they watch!??? I can not believe people find it entertaining....I am a teacher...I work with ALL kinds of beautiful children...EACH one...EVERY single one of them has a gift to share....it is too bad that everyone can't understand that. Love your post.... it speaks to my heart! Thank you!

[nina]

i have always been REPULSED by the very notion of reality tv, which i am assuming american idol is considered. reality? bah. to make fun of others who aren't "normal" by television's cotton candy, glossed over standards is absolutely cruel, and to rack up ratings from such practices is what makes me sometimes ashamed to be an american. i'm proud of your husband for complaining - and not just turning off the tv. and juju, i'm so very proud of YOU for being open with your readers about yet another, deeper, huge aspect of your life. i had a feeling this was what you were going to reveal when you mentioned the tag yesterday. weird? i've been considered "weird" all my life, and prefer the word "quirky". good.for.you. i know what a loving and patient and creative mom you are - thanks for sharing this part of you with your readers. xoxoxoxo

[tricia]

My daughter can do that with her tongue too! I have no idea where she gets it from though.

[Susan Jonsson]

I visit you every day from....Kirkland, Washinton....a suburb of Seattle. Thank you for sharing your post. I am an art teacher to gifted children....some seem borderline autistic at times. Bravo for your courage in speaking out. I am a advocate for Artistic children....those who don't fit the prescribed "normal". I consider the bashing the Idol judges give those auditioning to be criminal....beyond abusive. I think you are amazing....Your children fortunate to have your love.

Susan

[helle]

Hello there
I just dicovered your blog and wanted to say what a dynamo you are. Such fun and energy. That Henry is huge....his back paws are enormous. Love him. Hope to come back and visit soon.
Cheers
Helle

[mollyjean]

I love your blog and check it everyday. I have also given a lot of thought to the term weird and normal . When I was young, 18 or so, I rejected the desire to be normal. But didn't embrace weirdness until later! Bless you for telling us about your daughter. We all need to be careful what we look for in others and how we judge. Uniqueness is intresting but sometimes chalenging!

[Meredtih]

Thank you for that personal post and sharing with us about your daughter. I, too am offended by American Idol. Our family stopped watching it last season. This audition concept is just wrong! It makes me sick.

Hey, on another note... I can do that with my tongue too.

[Jenny]

I think as artists we are more accepting of the "unique" or "different"in life as well as art. It seems to me that your daughter picked the right family...love, Jenny

[Hanne]

I think you´re very courageous to tell also the painfull part of the story. Thank YOU!